Month: February 2017

Sometimes I look longingly at the fearless attitude kids show.  You know that stage they all go through where they aren’t worried about what people think, but dive right with eyes wide open.

As an adult, trying new things can be down right scary and even ridden with anxiety.  Well, here I am doing something I never dreamed…getting ready to launch my own business.  This has been in the works for about 6 months now.  The business plan, logo, e-brochures, and soon my website will be ready to launch…I just got the moodboards on Friday.  I am over the top excited!  More to come as well as some great tips and ideas for launching your own business.

I can’t wait to introduce you all to Socialytics Media!

(PS-It really is never too late to teach an old dog new tricks)

This week I have heard of two different incidents of bully occurring at school.  It really struck me and broke my heart.

Kids can certainly be mean and unkind. I remember seeing it happen when I was taught elementary school and in fact I remember it in school when I was growing up.  Bullying is a different thing all together.

So that we are all on the same page, the simple definition of a bully is a person or group of people who are socially or physically in “power”.  It could be someone physically or socially stronger.   This noted person or group then intimidates, abuses, or coerces another with the intention of doing harm…harm either emotionally or physically.

What is going on in this world?  My first inclination is to blame the parents for the bully behavior.  Numerous questions rise in my mind:

• Where is your son/daughter learning this behavior from?
• How can you not see they are doing this?  Are you involved?  Are you watching what they are doing on technology?
• Are you having conversations?

But I have no control of what goes on in another person’s home.  What I do have power of is arming my children with the skills to deal with it.  I really like these tips from kidpower.org

• Teach your children to act with calm, awareness, and confidence
• Learn to leave a situation in a powerful, strong way
• Teach to set boundaries when faced with difficult or unsafe situations
• Find your voice
• Harden your shell
• Speak up
• Identify/Tell an adult
• As a last resort…physical self-defensive

We do a lot of role-playing, parent coaching, and practice at home.  This really helps a lot.  I am not so naive to think these things will magically solve the problem.  What I do hope is that my kids are aware and have a supply of strategies to try.  I also want to include if they see someone else being bullied, they need to tell an adult.

It is never too early to work on this…life is happening as we speak.

 

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus

 

This past  week I attended my daughter’s middle school orientation with tissues in hand.  Let me just say I can’t believe she is going into middle school.  I can vividly remember her as a baby playing on her activity mat.  Those long nights of feedings and little sleep for me…time seemed stuck as I was living off coffee.  Once she hit pre-school time went into over overdrive.  Years started melting together.  Now, here we are with me sitting in an orientation with hundreds of other parents listening to how “awesome” middle school is going to be.  Hearing how she will be switching classes, having a locker, and opting for the “Fresh Air Club” (aka outdoor time after lunch) .

As this new chapter is started, I am sure feelings of the unknown will grow for both of us.  For my daughter, heading into the unknown world where school expectations,  peer relationships,  and physical development will now be center and forefront.  For me, losing my baby and gaining the starts of a young woman with a given a change in our relationship.  As my daughter continues to grow, I know that the she will be testing and at times  struggling to find her place in this world and among her peers.  My goal is to keep our connection strong and keep her family as her anchor.

Do I have a game plan? Yes I do.  Is it perfect?  No, but it is a starting point.  First and foremost, I want to give her that strong security  at home that she will need  as she starts spreading her wings more and engaging in age-appropriate freedoms.  How do I hope to accomplish this?

• Frequent check ins:  as kids get older I believe you need “check-ins” now more than ever.  This can be texts, chats, and calls.  It can be popping into a room while they are watching tv.  Really anything.
• Continue to make family centered meals a priority:  find the time eat and sit together  as a family.  It could be breakfast or dinner.  Make an easy meal…crockpot, casserole, roasted, grilled.
• Monthly have special  1:1 time: this could be mom or dad.  Brunch, shopping, dinner…the sky is the limit
• Readjust and set  limits:  we all need limits and boundaries are necessary for all to succeed and grow
• Continue to give hugs: no one is ever too old for a good hug
• I won’t take things personally: “I hate you” those 3 horrible words… words that will escape the lips of your child at some point.  I remember being so mad at my mom I would say that and slam the door.  Did I mean it?  No.  As a parent, one strategy is to give my daughter the space to cool off and then go back to discuss.  Every one gets mad.  Just keep in mind that hormones are and additional component.
• Maintain high expectations
• Check homework and stay on top of school work

Thank goodness I have two more years until my son is in this same spot.  That my friends will be a totally different approach😘😘

 

“To be in your child’s memory tomorrow, you have to make time today”

Did you know that Valentines Day is a multi BILLION dollar industry…. $13,290,000,000 according to the web! Crazy!

Like many people, I don’t want to buy into all the hype.  However, I have and do.  My kids were up this morning and rushed downstairs to see what they got.  Has it really come down to this?  Is it all about commercialism?

After some thought, here are some ideas for today (or any day) that go deeper than a box of candy….they come from the heart and spread love.

• Make and/or write your own card.  No matter how awesome those folks at major card companies are, it can’t compete with your own words.
• Give your spouse the “night off”.
• Spend time together minus the TV or iPhone.
• Send texts messages throughout the day letting your family know how much they mean to you.
• Gift of time.  Chatting over coffee or a glass of wine or building a puzzle…just spending extra time together.
• Gift of help…helping neighbor maybe?
•  Stop by the office and bring lunch or dinner
• Make a special dinner for the family complete with some family favorites.
• As a family, think of those who may be especially lonely on Valentine’s Day…make cards, bake heart-shaped cookies, or give them a call.
• At dinner, go around the table and give each person a chance to give an appreciation.
• Find five minutes to spend by yourself giving thanks for those you love.
• How about a telephone Valentine chain?  Call someone and they have to pass it on.

 

I hope you can use at least one of these ideas!  In a world where we often get caught up in being busy, today can be the start of spreading some love and giving gifts from the heart.  I am sure you have other great ideas!  I would love to hear about them.

Until tomorrow….love.hugs.peace

 

So as I was looking at FB today…this popped up. I wrote it in 2009. Updates (where needed) are in green:)  Happy reading!

 Being so close to D.C. we are frequent visitors to all the museums and exhibits….my favorite one still remains the National Zoo. Most memorable two private tours of the White House plus attending the Easter Egg Roll.

 After 14 years of teaching…I made a career change to that of homemaker or as I like to call it “domestic goddess”. Better hours, great boss, terrific perks, but low pay:)  I currently work part-time as a Media Specialist for a home inspection company. Launching in a month….Socialytics Media LLC….my own social media marketing company.  This has been in the works since September so I am super excited about this next “snippet”.

Having two children, 3 and 1, certainly keeps me young and constantly evolving in my thoughts…each day I see the world through their eyes and it makes me appreciate everything so much more!!  Nothing has changed though the kids are now 9 and 11.

A former co-worker and I provided counsel/advocacy for parents with children who have special needs. In a district as large as ours (60,000 students) there can be a lot of hoops to jump through in order to get children the services they need. I still love helping kids and parents navigate through school…and do it on request.

My husband is my best friend. Bonus… he is an awesome, hands-on dad. Still true:)

My daughter at age three has a more active social life than me at times. Still true…though my GNO time is growing (thanks to amazing friends).

Those who say raising a boy isn’t any harder than a girl haven’t met my son…he gives new meaning to the term lock down. Let’s just say that strong personality is still there..lol

The best as well as cheapest babysitter in the area still remains my brother Mike.

After the birth of my daughter, I grew my hair, cut it, and donated it to Locks of Love.

We travel back to Pittsburgh for every University of Pittsburgh football game…though I like football I am all about the tailgating/social aspect.

 Over these last few years I have found a love for cooking and baking, but not so much for laundry which always seems to get out of control. With the kids and their activities we don’t do this anymore.  However, we still go to Pittsburgh to visit family.

Each summer, we try to get to the beach for the week. I still love it…although now I slather on the sunscreen to keep anymore wrinkles from appearing. My favorite beaches are on the island of Santorini, Greece. We spent three weeks in Greece…pure bliss!

 I love the summer and being outdoors!!!

 Scrapbooking and photography equal two great ways for me to unwind. What was I smoking?  My scrapbooks are half done..and photography…well do pictures on my iPhone count?

When I was young my mother made me take piano lessons. I took them for eight years…now I am so glad.

Growing up my brother and I use to have Atari battles now it’s the WWii…the competition continues. OK…once in a while we still battle it out on Xbox!

Any latte from Starbucks can easily brighten my day.

 I feel blessed to have great friends and family though I probably don’t say it enough.

I love when family and friends come to visit.

My mother-in-law just taught me how to make nut rolls. I am totally about traditions!! Miss her dearly and so glad we spent the time baking together!

I taught inner city emotionally/behaviorally challenged kids for eight years. My first job was a roomful of 16-19 year olds!  Some were on house arrest, some in gangs…kids living lives I couldn’t even relate to at the time.  However, these kids taught me so much about myself and made me a better teacher.

A good back rub and glass of wine can be just what the doctor ordered.

Amusement parks…I loved going when I was in high school and still love it now. I am particularly fond of Kennywood…maybe that has to do with the whole nostalgia thing.

I really don’t watch TV. OK…maybe now I tune in to “The Girlfriends Guide to Divorce”

 

Re-reading all these life facts…it got me thinking about change and how it sneaks in…even when it isn’t wanted.  However, it often is for the best…though we may not agree at the time.  Here’s to a life full of change and all that it may bring!

 

When you’re finished changing, you’re finished. -Benjamin Franklin

 

My brother is more than four years younger than me.  I have always believed that he has received special treatment from my mom. OK, yes he was a preemie, but Mom, there are no “preemie issues” left at this point.  We are both in our 40’s for goodness sake.  And he is not having a “preemie moment” when he and I disagree and he has a hard time getting his point across.

This situation got me thinking about my own parenting.  Do I make excuses for my kids behavior?

“He’s just tired” or “She’s had a rough day” or “I think she is coming down with something”.  How often do I excuse the unacceptable rather than having my kids deal with the consequences?

According to, Empowering Parents, overtime “chronic excuse making” can become a much bigger part of  your kids personality because they are using it to solve problems.

Are raising a world of spoiled kids?  Kids who can’t take ownership of their behaviors or failures?

My response:  Call them out. Have them take responsibility and own it.

(Post Script:  Mike you are a super awesome sport for letting me include you in this blog.  Love you!)

 

My son had this amazing first grade teacher.  She was spunky and energetic and always had these cool ideas or sayings.  One of my favorite memories was this saying…”put it in a bubble”.  As I volunteered in the classroom, I would see times when a student would be upset and talk it out with the her.  However, in some cases that just wasn’t enough in the students eyes.  So they would  just sit stewing and replaying the incident over and over. It was like a cloud of “mad” started to form over them. At this point, the teacher would go over and ask…”Can you put in a bubble?”.  And those magic words would amazing do the trick.  The student and teacher would literally pretend to blow a bubble and then blow it up into the air.  And just like that…all was happy again.

With my own kids, I love to use the line “put it in a bubble”. For them, the visualization something floating off and never being seen again…well it helps them move on.

How many times are we faced with situation where we just need to let things go?  It could be something that someone said.  It could be a situation from the past.  It could be something someone did.  The feeling frustration, anger, and regret can easily creep in and start taking over.  If left unattended, these feeling can easily grow and fester.

Using this visualization really works…try it!  Let go of the mad or sad…put it in a bubble, watch it drift off, and focus on happy.

Believe. Achieve. Dream

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, I love to read for pleasure.  I am all about a comfortable chair, a juicy read, and a glass of wine…yes I read the entire Fifty Shades series in two weeks.  However, I also love reading as a means of self-improvement.  Here are some of my favorites:

• All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by R. Fulghum: Share; Play fair;  Clean up your own mess;  Take a nap; Flush…even in my home these ideas and concepts we all learned in Kindergarten work.  I believe they even can be applied to the work place.  I first was assigned to read this back in college.  It is still one of my all time favorites.
• Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod: Some say this book is “life-changing”.  This book is based on the premise that how you start the day will greatly determine you day, life, and work.  Read it and try it for 30 days! Good stuff!
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie:  This is a great book to get you out of a mental rut and refocus energies.  It is an oldies but a goodie.

These are just a few books.  I love them because whether you are an executive or stay at home parent the principles can be applied.

Grow.Reach.Shine⭐️

“Become addicted to constant and never-ending self-improvement ”   Tony J D’Angelo

Who pushes you?  Pushes you to try new things?  Pushes you out of your comfort zone?

I have a few friends who each have thankfully taken on this role.  Today my mind goes straigth to a friend that pushes me mentally and physically.  CA and I have been friends since our oldest kids started pre-school almost 8 years ago.  At that time, we were new moms trying to navigate pre-school and new babies.

Over the years, we have done winery play dates with our kids and even golf lessons.  However, the biggest hurdles she has encouraged me to try with her…exercising.  Now, this isn’t just going to the gym or walking. It is more along the lines of pilates, barre classes, or yoga.

Yoga studios are all around trying to push mind and body to the limits.  For those reasons, they are very appealing.    Last year when, CA suggested trying a class and I couldn’t believe I said yes. Now mind you, we were the youngest people in the class.  The studio was filled with men and women a bit older than us.  However, the studio was friendly and there were no “airs”.  The different forms and poses were truly relaxing and class flew by.  The hardest part…the laying quiet and clearing my mind.  That was and still is a huge challenge.  Laying in a “copse pose” with a blanket and eye weights…my mind still is thinking of all the things that need done.  The mental workout is rough…but I know that after class I will have a good laugh with CA and we will plot our next class.

Today was no different…a new studio…sure.  There we were sitting in a super hot room surrounded by people stretching their body in different poses as they “warm up”.  I look over at CA and give the look like “and I thought this was the beginner class”.  She gets it. Push.

Who pushes you?

PS~@Target thanks for carrying the best yoga socks😊