Month: March 2017

I just finished listening to a talk on spiritual health and it is something that really struck a nerve with me. It really made me question, how much time am I really devoting to my own spiritual health?  Is my time and attention to my spiritual health anywhere near the other areas of  my wellness?

As some background, many experts agree that there are 9 dimension of wellness.  These include: physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social, environmental, occupational, financial, and cultural.  The concurrence is that to achieve true whole wellness as an individual, wellness needs to be achieved in each mentioned area.

Out of all those areas or dimensions…spiritual wellness interests me the most. What exactly is spiritual wellness?  This is not so black and white as the definition as spirituality can mean different things to different people. I think there are some commonalities.   It’s base is in finding life’s purpose and includes the :

• Combination of religious faith, values, beliefs, principles, and morals.
• Capability of being able to of understand that others may have a distinctly different set of guiding principles.
• Ability to integrate beliefs and values into actions

I think of my own kids. Am I modeling and teaching them how to become strong in their spiritual wellness?  As a teacher, it was amazing to see how a lack of spiritual wellness in students affected so many aspects of their lives.    Honestly.  Students who came from homes where spiritual health was overlooked or not modeled were obvious to others in the way they acted, in what they said, and how they reacted.

How can you achieve better spiritual health?  It can involve things such as meditation, prayer, affirmations, or specific spiritual practices that support your connection to a higher power or belief system. It also is having and teaching compassion, the capacity for love and forgiveness, altruism, joy, and fulfillment.

Feel that you spiritual wellness is the best it can be?  Take time to see.

• Do you make time for relaxation?
• Do you make time for meditation and/or prayer?
• Do my values guide my decisions and actions?
• Am I accepting of the views of others?

If you are looking at where to start strengthening this key dimension of wellness?

• Practice acceptance
• Live in a way that is consistent with your core beliefs and values
• Take time for quiet, reflection, prayer or meditation
• Build awareness through journaling, quiet, or yoga
• Become more aware and mindful of the deeper meanings of everyday events
• Stop and take 7 deep breaths for no reason

Blessings and peace.

Over the last month, my new evening routine has revolved around going to the gym with my brother.  Each night we mix exercise with “relaxation”…aka  steam room and sauna (thankfully both are located in the locker room).  Before heading into our respective locker rooms, we agree on a time to meet out in the lobby.  Most nights…well 80% of them…I am late.  Late not because I am loafing, but “late” due to conversations in the sauna.  Crazy as this is the last place I would ever think someone would want to chat. However, women have entered the sauna and have began talking to me…not chit-chatting…real conversations.  Conversations that circle around accomplishments, challenges, and fears. I have heard stories of celebrations, death, premonitions, empowerment, parenting, and health.  It is amazing as these are coming from women I don’t even know.  Women I have never met in my life. Raw and real conversations right there in the sauna.

So why me?  Why open up to a complete stranger?  I am never sure of the answer.  Is it the vulnerability of just being in the sauna?  Is it some form of an emotional work out ? Throughout these conversations, I do not pass judgement.  The recipe is really simple:  listening,  encouragement, and maybe a dash of advice or affirmation.   That’s it.

I guess this leads to my next question a question I have taken out of the sauna setting:  Do we really take time to listen?  To be a friend?   Can simple gestures such as listening and kindness really make a difference?  I am not always so great in these areas myself.  I often miss the mark.  I get caught up in life, my family, and my own issues.  Some days and even nights at the gym, the last thing I want to do is talk.  I selfishly want to sit there in silence.  There in lies one issue…sometimes it isn’t about “me”.

The funny thing the sauna is one place I can think of that is totally technology and distractions free.  Just the heat and piped in music and heat…lots and lots of heat. How often do we just put our technology away while with friends?  Maybe that is the key:  these sauna conversations are conversations where real communication is occurring…interruption free.    It seems in today’s world that kind of genuine connection is often lost.  That person to person chat where you can just be totally honest and free of judgement.  Conversations without the temptation to answer an email or check a text.

Hmmmm…Mike, I apologize for my lateness as I am truly sorry for making you wait.  But your sister “Lucy” is currently on to something….something pretty cool.

When I was growing up, we rarely had a snow day.  I remember standing at the corner waiting for the bus with snow covering my coat and scarf…barely being able to see.  Back then, it was rare for my mom to drive us to school.  We, like the mailman, walked through rain, sleet, and snow.

Tonight, our school district sent out a message announcing school will be closed tomorrow in anticipation of our only snow storm this winter.  We are expected to get 10-12 inches..so far we have not one flake has fallen.  In the county we live, a foot of snow could potentially shut down school until Thursday. Friends have already hit Facebook and have begun posting roaring fires, mounds of snacks, sleds, shovels, and more (which is a welcome break from all the political posts).

The kids are over the top excited!  My son has plans with his friends to hit the “big hill” to begin sledding as soon as daylight breaks.  My daughter and her friends are baking cookies.  The excitement level is high to say the least.  To be honest, I am probably equally excited.  I hit the groceries stores over the weekend stocking my pantry and fridge.  In our little niche of the world, grocery stores are typically packed days in advanced with panicked people grabbing large quantities of milk and toilet paper.

So here’s to warm fires and good snuggles.  Here’s to snow pants, mittens, sledding, and hot cocoa (complete with the best dark chocolate marshmallows I picked up at Trader Joe’s).  Here’s to comfy blanket and good books.  Winter has finally arrived!

As the end of the school year is drawing closer, my mind is starting to think about summer.  Since our school year schedule is down right insane.  I like to keep our summer schedule a bit laid back

I remember when I was growing up.  Summer was spent at the pool with my friends.  As I got older, maybe I did some babysitting or was assigned chores to complete.  Later as a senior in high school, I actually had a real job a few hours a week at a donut shop (best.job.ever.

For my kids, a few of their sport obligations carry into the summer.  My daughter has swim team practice at 5:30am and my son has hockey.  Additionally, they  both participate in our community swim team…which is 100% fun for them.  I really try to limit camps and allow for more unscheduled, less structured FUN time.

However, I do like to provide a few hours of academic focus each day.  As a former teacher, I believe in this for a number of reasons.  First, without continued work there will be skills lost and some backside. Starting the school year “behind” is stressful and will often lead to anxiety.  (Anxiety issues can also hold true for children who have too many academic demands/pressures hanging on them….this is another post all together).

During the summer, I love focusing on the lost art of writing with my kids.  I truly believe just as good readers read…good writers write.  Writing is hard and a skill that has to be worked on often in order to really get good at it.  In school, my kids spend very little time writing.  Yeah they minimally do it…but come on neither kid is yet to write a book report…EVER.

So, in the spirit of sharing, here are some of my favorite ideas for getting kids to write:

• Journal:  this can be a personal journal, but better yet over the summer it could be a vacation journal or a journal of day trips/activities.  What is really fun is to combine writing with photography.  Have your child take pictures, paste them into a journal and write about it.  This can also be done on the computer.
• Make a recipe pamphlet/booklet:  Allow your child to help you cook and then have them write out their favorite recipes.  You can take the recipes and turn them into a booklet.  Maybe focus on breakfasts?  Or healthy snacks?  Desserts?
• Blog:  Work with your child and set up a blog.  Focus on a topic and then have your child write daily.  There are a lot of kid friendly sites available.
• Thank you notes and letters:  If you have family that live out-of-state or country, have your child write letters.
• Grocery lists:  Talk though your grocery list with your child and have them make the list.
• Write a book: Writing “how-to” books or informational books can combine art, photography and writing.  Books can be made on-line or created using blank books which typically can be found at craft stores.
• Jar full of fun prompts: On line you can find tons and tons of writing prompts.  Type some up, put them in a jar, and each day have your child pick one and write on the topic.

These are just some of many projects you may want to consider.  However, always remember:  good writers brainstorm and plan.

Other tips to consider:  Work on writing at a set time each day.  Possible include special treats or snacks.  Think of different areas for your child to work…maybe outside?  Remember, we don’t want kids to view learning or extra work as a “punishment”, but just like in their sports…practice makes them their best.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world “~Nelson Mandela

“Somewhere, somethin INCREDIBLE is waiting to be known “~Carl Sagan

A topic near and dear to my heart revolves around…my parents.   I am blessed as both my parents are still alive, feisty, and totally independent.  They each own their own homes and drive.  Both worked until into their 70’s…really inspirational.   They divorced when I was in college.  Though the road has been rocky, we have super relationships now.  As I have been spending more and more time with them these last few years,  some random thoughts have popped into my mind.  A few points I need to remember!

1. Enjoy every moment:  Tomorrow isn’t promised. I am fortunate that my parents both can visit for extended amounts of time throughout the year.  For my kids,  it is an amazing opportunity to really spend time with them….living with someone gives so many more insights than just visiting. I love watching the relationships grow and I love seeing memories made.   I know I often get wrapped up in my own life. Working, responsibilities, my kids and husband all take up time.  I try to at least text my mom daily and probably call about 4 times a week.  With my dad, I call about one time a week.  Could I do more?
2. Enjoy their stories: There are always the stories that have been told over and over.  There are always the ones that I wish they would forget.  However, I love listening to stories.  I love hearing the excitement as well as their prospective.  Oral history is a dying art.  Often times now, the latest technology takes over and there is little time just to talk and share stories. It is a way to get information that no one has written down and will most likely be forgotten. Before my grandparents passed away, I video taped them as we were looking a pictures.  I loved their stories and wanted to capture them to have forever.  Now, at our family reunions, I will often bring out the slide projector and pop up some old slides…and the stories start flowing.
3. Learn traditions:  Most of the traditions I have learned revolve around food.  My mom makes the best potpie noodles, mashed potatoes, and roast beef.  My dad makes the best chocolate Easter eggs.  Both recipes passed down from generations before.
4. Help them when possible…without overstepping and becoming overprotective.
5. Don’t skip a chance to say “I love you!”
6. Be patient
7. Learn to listen
8. Keep them striving for independence

And above all….Cherish.Every.Moment

Hugs mom and dad!

(Confession:  I will probably catch hell for two things…using this picture and using the words “aging parents”)

Let me start off the post by saying I love pigs. I think they are smart and cute.  Let’s get real…their pens…they are a mess.  Sometimes I look around my house and think that I may be living in a pig pen.  Kids laying around…eating…messes everywhere.  It is gross and frustrating.  Scanning the rooms one would see things plopped and not one single person is  making an attempt to pick the items up.  Well, there is slight movement among the troops if I threaten to throw the items away.  Then they will reluctantly put their belongings away.  And “by away” I mean haphazardly thrown into a drawer, under the bed, or in a closet.

When my grandma was alive I remember hearing her tell stories of having to dump the dresser drawers so that things would be put away correctly.  As a student, I remember my teacher threatening to dump desks if they became to messy. So I know “slobbiness” is not a new thing.

Everyone wants to be happy, but how many of us are really just spending our time chasing it?  Trying to fill a void?

True happiness is more than just being positive.  According to Psychology Today,  happiness is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life—that is, with a sense of meaning and deep satisfaction. Research shows that happiness is not the result of bouncing from one joy to the next; achieving happiness typically involves times of considerable discomfort.  Interesting?  Maybe.

Thinking about it terms of myself or my kids…it gets more fascinating.  Do I spend my time chasing happiness?  Do my kids?  Right now, my kids do to a degree.  They look at items and think “I really need this new video game” or “I really need this new toy”.  On the surface, they believe it will bring happiness.  It may for a week or month, but that feeling slowly will leave.  As they grow older this pursuit may try to steer them into bad relationships or friendships.  It may point to more meaningless possessions or jobs .

Though genetics do play a role.  There is more!  What should we be focusing on?  After scouring the internet, here are the top 10 things I compiled that can start you on the right path to true happiness!

• Learn to forgive-don’t dwell on the past
• Be kind
• Love yourself
• Be optimistic
• Cherish family and friendships
• Commit to goals and volunteer for good causes
• Count your blessings
• Don’t compare yourself to others-run your own race
• Meditate and exercise and sleep

(Notice $$ isn’t mentioned.  We all know money and the financial freedom that comes with it can relieve worry…and that can make you happy…but only to a point)

So today’s lesson for yourself and your kids…focus on happy!  Choose happy…it is closer than you think!

” Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Life’s too short to be anything… but happy. ” – Anonymous

Song: Three Little Birds~Bob Marley