Over the last month, my new evening routine has revolved around going to the gym with my brother. Each night we mix exercise with “relaxation”…aka steam room and sauna (thankfully both are located in the locker room). Before heading into our respective locker rooms, we agree on a time to meet out in the lobby. Most nights…well 80% of them…I am late. Late not because I am loafing, but “late” due to conversations in the sauna. Crazy as this is the last place I would ever think someone would want to chat. However, women have entered the sauna and have began talking to me…not chit-chatting…real conversations. Conversations that circle around accomplishments, challenges, and fears. I have heard stories of celebrations, death, premonitions, empowerment, parenting, and health. It is amazing as these are coming from women I don’t even know. Women I have never met in my life. Raw and real conversations right there in the sauna.
So why me? Why open up to a complete stranger? I am never sure of the answer. Is it the vulnerability of just being in the sauna? Is it some form of an emotional work out ? Throughout these conversations, I do not pass judgement. The recipe is really simple: listening, encouragement, and maybe a dash of advice or affirmation. That’s it.
I guess this leads to my next question a question I have taken out of the sauna setting: Do we really take time to listen? To be a friend? Can simple gestures such as listening and kindness really make a difference? I am not always so great in these areas myself. I often miss the mark. I get caught up in life, my family, and my own issues. Some days and even nights at the gym, the last thing I want to do is talk. I selfishly want to sit there in silence. There in lies one issue…sometimes it isn’t about “me”.
The funny thing the sauna is one place I can think of that is totally technology and distractions free. Just the heat and piped in music and heat…lots and lots of heat. How often do we just put our technology away while with friends? Maybe that is the key: these sauna conversations are conversations where real communication is occurring…interruption free. It seems in today’s world that kind of genuine connection is often lost. That person to person chat where you can just be totally honest and free of judgement. Conversations without the temptation to answer an email or check a text.
Hmmmm…Mike, I apologize for my lateness as I am truly sorry for making you wait. But your sister “Lucy” is currently on to something….something pretty cool.
Life in Snippets 
You are on to something. People are often not talking or listening. It’s a text message. It’s a keep in touch, but a poor replacement listening.
LikeLike