Inner drive. It could be school work. It could be a chore. It could be sport. What am I talking about? That inner drive or motivation some kids have just to get something done to the best of their ability. That inner push to reach above the bar. There is no bribe or pressure…it is just a special spark within that child.
So, my question today is how come some kids have this and others don’t? Is there anything you for your child if they don’t have this inner motivation?
My kids ended summer break and have started back to school. I guess this idea of inner drive kind of slapped in the face this summer. As I watched my kids participate in various summer sports and camps it became mighty apparent the distinction between kids who constantly drive to reach higher and do better and those who don’t care or need pushed from others. I watched parents bribe, yell, guilt, nag, and even embarrass their child. Sometimes I even watched as parents publicly reprimanded their little one for not “winning” . I then began to think about the pressures kids are exposed to now a days…that sometimes may lead to anxiety issues.
I started to wonder what set apart these driven kids. Is it maturity? Personality? Parenting? Or is it a combination of all three? I tend to think it is the later plays a big role. So let’s focus on parenting…the one area where we as parents have control.
Where should we start? How do you help to build or encourage this type of mindset in your kids? Let’s start with four little steps!
- Recognize the little accomplishments that add up to extraordinary achievements.
- Focus on the things they’re doing right.
- Teach your kids to dream big.
- Use extrinsic rewards to reward intrinsic behavior (so instead of rewarding your child for coming in first place reward their “hard work” or “leadership” or “sportsmanship”).
I personally love this list…especially remembering to reward intrinsic behaviors!
Life in Snippets 