We are a sports family. Our son is involved in hockey, swimming, and basketball (always 3 sports throughout the school year). Competitive swimming is our daughter’s sole interest. Our weekly calendar is a revolving door as the kids go to practices 5-6 days a week plus have games or meets. Sports are awesome as they teach people to deal with challenges and obstacles. We love them and have seen our kids grown through participation.
One of the big draw backs as kids get older and sports become competitive can be the parents. Yikes…did I just say that?
When my kids made the switch from recreational sports to competitive sports there came a switch with the parents. With rec leagues and games, parents were all about laughing and snacks. As the kids got older and the focus of the sports changed to one which is more competitive in nature, the attitude of some parents changed. Now practices can be filled with this underlying intensity and competitiveness. Lofty expectations start filtering into practices and games. You start hearing words such as “kick butt” (or variations of this) and papers with stats start flying around. As soon as a game or meet is over you can over hear parents conferencing with their child….”You didn’t hustle” or “You would have won if the ref. hadn’t made so many bad calls”. Am I guilty as criticizing or coaching as soon as the kids leave the field, rink, or pool? Guilty of telling my kid to “kick so&so’s butt”? YES 😳
Away from the venue (when clarity seeps in), I admit these comments, pressures, and expectations, are undermining and can often cause unnecessary stress and pressure. Being honest…what should I do instead?
- Teach my kids to challenge themselves and to improve.
- Teach them that success/failure is not the same as winning/losing.
- Support them…but keep in mind I am NOT the coach.
- Remember my kids are not going “pro” or going to the Olympics.
- Remember that my kids are NOT the performance…losing a game or meet doesn’t “define” them as a person.
- Teach them how deal with losing.
Or maybe I can just start by saying “I ❤️ to watch you play/swim/etc.” and save the feedback for a later time.
Hmmmm..now if I can get my hubby on board 😂
Figuring it out…one.step.at.a time💕
Life in Snippets 