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My brother is more than four years younger than me.  I have always believed that he has received special treatment from my mom. OK, yes he was a preemie, but Mom, there are no “preemie issues” left at this point.  We are both in our 40’s for goodness sake.  And he is not having a “preemie moment” when he and I disagree and he has a hard time getting his point across.

This situation got me thinking about my own parenting.  Do I make excuses for my kids behavior?

“He’s just tired” or “She’s had a rough day” or “I think she is coming down with something”.  How often do I excuse the unacceptable rather than having my kids deal with the consequences?

According to, Empowering Parents, overtime “chronic excuse making” can become a much bigger part of  your kids personality because they are using it to solve problems.

Are raising a world of spoiled kids?  Kids who can’t take ownership of their behaviors or failures?

My response:  Call them out. Have them take responsibility and own it.

(Post Script:  Mike you are a super awesome sport for letting me include you in this blog.  Love you!)

 

My son had this amazing first grade teacher.  She was spunky and energetic and always had these cool ideas or sayings.  One of my favorite memories was this saying…”put it in a bubble”.  As I volunteered in the classroom, I would see times when a student would be upset and talk it out with the her.  However, in some cases that just wasn’t enough in the students eyes.  So they would  just sit stewing and replaying the incident over and over. It was like a cloud of “mad” started to form over them. At this point, the teacher would go over and ask…”Can you put in a bubble?”.  And those magic words would amazing do the trick.  The student and teacher would literally pretend to blow a bubble and then blow it up into the air.  And just like that…all was happy again.

With my own kids, I love to use the line “put it in a bubble”. For them, the visualization something floating off and never being seen again…well it helps them move on.

How many times are we faced with situation where we just need to let things go?  It could be something that someone said.  It could be a situation from the past.  It could be something someone did.  The feeling frustration, anger, and regret can easily creep in and start taking over.  If left unattended, these feeling can easily grow and fester.

Using this visualization really works…try it!  Let go of the mad or sad…put it in a bubble, watch it drift off, and focus on happy.

Believe. Achieve. Dream

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, I love to read for pleasure.  I am all about a comfortable chair, a juicy read, and a glass of wine…yes I read the entire Fifty Shades series in two weeks.  However, I also love reading as a means of self-improvement.  Here are some of my favorites:

• All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by R. Fulghum: Share; Play fair;  Clean up your own mess;  Take a nap; Flush…even in my home these ideas and concepts we all learned in Kindergarten work.  I believe they even can be applied to the work place.  I first was assigned to read this back in college.  It is still one of my all time favorites.
• Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod: Some say this book is “life-changing”.  This book is based on the premise that how you start the day will greatly determine you day, life, and work.  Read it and try it for 30 days! Good stuff!
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie:  This is a great book to get you out of a mental rut and refocus energies.  It is an oldies but a goodie.

These are just a few books.  I love them because whether you are an executive or stay at home parent the principles can be applied.

Grow.Reach.Shine⭐️

“Become addicted to constant and never-ending self-improvement ”   Tony J D’Angelo

Who pushes you?  Pushes you to try new things?  Pushes you out of your comfort zone?

I have a few friends who each have thankfully taken on this role.  Today my mind goes straigth to a friend that pushes me mentally and physically.  CA and I have been friends since our oldest kids started pre-school almost 8 years ago.  At that time, we were new moms trying to navigate pre-school and new babies.

Over the years, we have done winery play dates with our kids and even golf lessons.  However, the biggest hurdles she has encouraged me to try with her…exercising.  Now, this isn’t just going to the gym or walking. It is more along the lines of pilates, barre classes, or yoga.

Yoga studios are all around trying to push mind and body to the limits.  For those reasons, they are very appealing.    Last year when, CA suggested trying a class and I couldn’t believe I said yes. Now mind you, we were the youngest people in the class.  The studio was filled with men and women a bit older than us.  However, the studio was friendly and there were no “airs”.  The different forms and poses were truly relaxing and class flew by.  The hardest part…the laying quiet and clearing my mind.  That was and still is a huge challenge.  Laying in a “copse pose” with a blanket and eye weights…my mind still is thinking of all the things that need done.  The mental workout is rough…but I know that after class I will have a good laugh with CA and we will plot our next class.

Today was no different…a new studio…sure.  There we were sitting in a super hot room surrounded by people stretching their body in different poses as they “warm up”.  I look over at CA and give the look like “and I thought this was the beginner class”.  She gets it. Push.

Who pushes you?

PS~@Target thanks for carrying the best yoga socks😊

In life, we can often get held up on what is wrong or not going right within ourselves. Doubts and fears can creep in and be can down right crippling.

Here are some of my favorite strategies:

• Set goals:  these can be personal or professional.  I often write goals down into a list and cross off what has been achieved.  Seeing that gives me such a sense of accomplishment. Try new things.  Aim to accomplish new things.  It could be starting a new career or losing weight.  The canvas is huge!  Remember, it is never to late!
• Surround yourself with positive individuals: ridding yourself of people who bring you down or are always negative is hard.  It is so easy to stay in the comfort of what is known.  However, I have found that when I am around other who are positive and are striving to be the best they can…well it rubs off and is really uplifting.  Having friends who are your support is huge!
• Focus on the positive: well not everything will go your way or on the timeline you have given yourself.  Guess what?  It is OK.  Focus on what is right.
• Look at the gains rather than the whole picture: I can sum this up with two words…”baby steps”

 

Believe. Strive. Achieve.

 

 

 

 

Listen and silent are two words with a big connection in my life.  Besides being an anagram….same letters, but different order…the connection between these two words goes deeper.

Living in the DC metro area can be a blessing and a curse all at the same time.  This past weekend was no exception.  There was an exchange of power…riots…a peaceful protest. Yet amongst many there was and still is amounts of  anger, fear, and confusion.  Friendships ended.  Families broken.

This isn’t about who won the election or who didn’t, but more about the the millions of people now in a state of hurt, confusion, or anger over things that have been voiced.  This weekend, bricks were thrown, garbage cans were lit on fire, and thousands of people protested.

How do we begin to build understanding and tolerance….to really hear messages and where someone else is coming from?  Being silent can be a huge source of power.  This is not saying using silence as a form of ignoring, non-expression, or punishment.  However, if you are thoughtfully silent, you can reach the truth or the real message as you are truly listening.

I think of my own relationships.  When there have been disagreement and each is trying to argue the point, no one is listening.  Time is wasted.  Anger grows.  Each is trying to get in the “last word”.  Defensiveness jumps in.  Voices raise.  What if something new was tried?  What if each would stop for a moment and be thoughtfully silent and truly listen.  My guess…things would be solved a lot sooner because there would be understanding (even if there isn’t total agreement).

Not say this simplistic idea would solve all the world’s problems….but a little might go a long way…and where better to start than home!

Back to funny business tomorrow!