Tag: #thoughts

Posted in #life, Uncategorized

A note to my daughter

Posted on by Snippetsofmylife

It seems like it was yesterday…

Thanksgiving break 2005…we had family and friends popping in and out of the house for days.  Boy I just wanted to put my super pregnant self on the couch and rest.  Your due date was a few weeks off…so I knew I had time, but you had other plans!

Contractions started and continued on and off over night.  Part of me was absolutely in denial as we headed off to the hospital the next day.  I was so sure we would be sent home.  So, dad and I were in a bit of shock when the nurse told us that a room was being prepared. Excited but scared we got checked in and settled.  Keep in mind we had no idea if we were having a girl or boy…we wanted to be surprised!

Everyone told me time will fly and boy has it ever.  I can’t believe you are on the thresh-hold of your teenage years!

Thinking about you and how you live your life, I came up with the list below….goals that I see you work towards daily.  I don’t think we have ever listed these out.  However, everyday dad and I see you strive to hit these…and it makes our hearts swell.  Continue your pursuit beautiful girl… because guess what?!  These will guide you through life:)

  • Dream big
  • Surround yourself with the positive
  • Reach high
  • Trust and honesty are invaluable
  • Be positive
  • Laughter always helps
  • Find the silver lining
  • Be organized
  • Make a difference
  • Believe in yourself
  • Keep your family close
  • Have faith
Posted in A Better Self

Gossip and friendship

Posted on by Snippetsofmylife

Is there any place for gossip in an authentic friendship?

Gossip.  If you really look, I think we can all admit that we have experienced both sides at some point in our lives.  Glaring, whispering, and passing judgement on others.  Maybe being the one talked about….and let’s be honest it always comes back in these cases.   In the past, I admit in certain settings I would partner up with women who loved to gossip.  Saying mean or hurtful statements about another….even when the ones being talked about were already at their lowest.  Sad.

Real friendships are hard.  Keeping them positive and balanced is also hard.  It can sometimes seem like an impossible expectation to allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic to others….to trust them.  But aren’t these the friendships we deep down desire?  The ones that go beyond the glass of wine and gossip?  The one’s that  put you at your most vulnerable, but are most rewarding and fulfilling?

I have been taking a class on finding balance and creating order from within.  It has made me rethink a lot of what has occurred in my life and who I am surrounding myself with.   It is probably one of the most difficult changes I have made in a while.

In this study, I came across this list of qualities a good friend exemplifies and it really hit home with me.

  • They are encouraging.
  • They rejoice when you are rejoicing.
  • They mourn when you mourn.
  • They can speak the truth to you in love.

What qualities are important to you?  It is never to late to re-evaluate your list!

Always grateful!

“Friendship is when a person knows all about you and likes you anyway. “~ unknown

Posted in Uncategorized

My Facebook Detox: 30 days later

Posted on by Snippetsofmylife

At the end of March,  I decided to free my mind and time by getting off Facebook.  This was a decision made after hearing a number of rumblings claiming the unsung benefits of doing so.

  • A quieter mind
  • Being more present in the moment
  • Increased social interactions
  • More authenticity in relationships
  • Increased focus and creativity
  • Feeling more positive

So, I logged off…for 30 days.

I have to admit that it was the best decision for me.  The biggest change was being more present with friends and those around me.  My focus when out with my friends or family really centered around that….being together, interacting, and absorbing the experience.  Facebook was no longer part of dinners out or drinks with friends.  It no longer was that “third wheel” popping up to take a picture of a trip, a date, or a night out with friends.

Life without Facebook forced me to talk more.  It gave me back time and perspective.  It freed up time to read more…and I just read an article that talked about how many hours it takes to be friends with someone…90 hours or more (and Facebook comments, likes, and shares don’t count)!  I realized all the time I spent snapping pictures and tagging others…didn’t really matter to most of my Facebook friends.  Really what was the point?  Though family and a handful of friends may have been excited to see my kid scoring a goal, did the majority of FB friends really give a rip about me going out to lunch or hanging out over coffee?  In actuality was I really just making others feel excluded..though never the intent?!? Or did I crave the validation that comes from posting certain pictures?

Going forward…30 minutes of Facebook time is what I am willing to spend each week.  My posts will be limited and probably more thoughtful…keeping in mind that too much of a good thing is never good.

I am so happy with this journey and being able to share it with you!

~It’s all about growth and change…one step at a time~

Posted in Uncategorized

Am I a nightmare sports parent?

Posted on by Snippetsofmylife

We are a sports family.  Our son is involved in hockey, swimming, and basketball (always 3 sports throughout the school year).  Competitive swimming is our daughter’s sole interest.  Our weekly calendar is a revolving door as the kids go to practices 5-6 days a week plus have games or meets.  Sports are awesome as they teach people to deal with challenges and obstacles.  We love them and have seen our kids grown through participation.

One of the big draw backs as kids get older and sports become competitive can be the parents.  Yikes…did I just say that?

When my kids made the switch from recreational sports to competitive sports there came a switch with the parents.  With rec leagues and games, parents  were all about laughing and snacks.  As the kids got older and the focus of the sports changed to one which is more competitive in nature, the attitude of some parents changed.  Now practices can be filled with this underlying intensity and competitiveness.  Lofty expectations start filtering into practices and games.  You start hearing words such as “kick butt” (or variations of this) and papers with stats start flying around.  As soon as a game or meet is over you can over hear parents conferencing with their child….”You didn’t hustle” or “You would have won if the ref. hadn’t made so many bad calls”.  Am I guilty as criticizing or coaching as soon as the kids leave the field, rink, or pool? Guilty of telling my kid to “kick so&so’s butt”?  YES 😳

Away from the venue (when clarity seeps in), I admit these comments, pressures, and expectations, are undermining and can often cause unnecessary stress and pressure.  Being honest…what should I do instead?

  • Teach my kids to challenge themselves and to improve.
  • Teach them that success/failure is not the same as winning/losing.
  • Support them…but keep in mind I am NOT the coach.
  • Remember my kids are not going “pro” or going to the Olympics.
  • Remember that my kids are NOT the performance…losing a game or meet doesn’t “define” them as a person.
  • Teach them how deal with losing.

Or maybe I can just start by saying “I ❤️ to watch you play/swim/etc.” and save the feedback for a later time.

Hmmmm..now if I can get my hubby on board 😂

Figuring it out…one.step.at.a time💕

Posted in #life

What do I want to be known or remembered for?

Posted on by Snippetsofmylife

This is a question that was posed to me at the end of 2017.  When I thought about it, I have decided to make it my focus starting in 2018.

I never really thought of this question before.  Sure I want to be a good wife, mom, friend…but I actually think this question is deeper and bigger.  Did you ever think about this?  What would your answer be?

In today’s world, I believe “successful” is probably a top answer on many people’s list. Everyone seems to thrive on success.  It could be the financial glamour or the personal recognition or maybe a bit of both.  But is this what you want to really be remembered for?

Once upon a time, “success” drove me.  The financial and personal satisfaction were addictive.  I loved being known as an “expert”  and sought after by others for advice.  In hindsight, the “me-centered” lifestyle I created… all in the name of helping kids …actually was not really “me-healthy”.   This success  I craved was slowly creating a “me-centered” world…though at the time I would argue that point with anyone.

The unseen or unacknowledged consequences centered around neglected relationships….of friends, family, and actually with God.  Time lost with those I swore were important to me.  Time that could not be regained.

Flash forward to now.  Maybe age, life, and experience have given me a different look of what I want…I don’t know.  However, here is my goal…

Someday

I

Hope

To

Be

Remembered

For

My

Spirituality shining with kindness, faith, hope, compassion, and love:)

A tall order?  Maybe.  What about being a good wife, mom, friend?  Well, I think all that will be covered:)

Now it is your turn.  Think about how you want to be remembered and strive everyday to reach your goal.

 

” Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier.”~Mother Teresa